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a little bit frustrated

April 6th, 2006 at 12:03 am

We have few frills in our budget. To live just on one income is so hard. The only reason we have any wiggle room is from the parttime jobs DH and I do. It isn't about having more "stuff" as mentioned in another blog. That offends me.

Big expense: DD's schooling. If the public schools were the kind of place I wanted my child spending six hours a day, I'd have her there. But they're not, unfortunately. I've seen them from the inside (former teacher); I have friends still teaching; I talk to parents of DD's friends who are in these schools. No thank you.

We don't even buy new cars every 5-6 years, let alone every 3-4 or 1-2. Our one vacation this year, a real getaway for rest and recreation, will have been 2 days of skiing. That's it.

The clothes we buy are returns that can't be resold, or samples. They're new, but not really. Or we buy from thrift stores.

My Starbucks habit has been on gift cards this year, thanks to Christmas and my birthday among other things.

I can't remember the last time I had my hair cut, even at a supercuts. Forget about an actual salon. I've had my nails done twice since my daughter was born, and this last time was from a gift certificate for my birthday.

We don't have cable, or a dish. I think we've been a movie theater two or three times in the last two years.

When we improve our house, we do it ourselves. No contractors, no landscape architects, no painters. I sew curtains and seat cushion covers.

We buy organic, for our own health and because we think it's the right thing to do, environmentally. We also don't eat fast food, both for our health and as a statement to the fast food industry.

I wash in cold water and hang dry at least half our clothes.

I could say what DH makes, which I won't, but apparently the vast majority of people here would think we're crazy that we can't live on that and have a very nice life. Trust me - no boats, no timeshares, no new cars. Thank goodness work matches 401k contributions, so we're at least almost saving 10% into the 401k. Almost.

I'm frustrated at how hard things seem right now. Moving anywhere in this area isn't even an option; I think the median home prices for our city (or was it county?) in $600K. There's no way we could get anything - ANYTHING - for less than what our current mortgage is. We'd be incredibly lucky to find something in the very worst part of town for twice what we currently owe.

It's not been a good day. Rant over, for now.

12 Responses to “a little bit frustrated”

  1. midlight21 Says:
    1144282890

    Jen, I know how you feel! Dh and I make enough money but even still, things are hard. Lots of hugs and vent away!

  2. Thrifty Ray Says:
    1144283179

    DivaJen- I used to live in So. California (Lakewood). The weather is always so beautiful there! But I do not miss the traffic.

    You know, I wrote a post a while back about 'stuff" and I sure hope that is not the one that offended you. I would never compare my situation to anyone else's...or even begin to pass judgement. Quite the contrary, I respect families for doing whatever it takes to provide the best experience for their family- whatever that means to them. I have been there, when my children were little and it took two salaries to keep our heads above water....then I went on to be a single mom...oh boy.

    I apologize if it was indeed my post that offended...I certainly did not mean to.

  3. contrary1 Says:
    1144286456

    I've paid for private schools too on occasion. They are steep and make one get more than creative with a dollar............we did almost everything to make ends meet that was legal. I respect your decision, as I'm not a fan of public schools at all.

  4. mjrube94 Says:
    1144288143

    Hang in there, Jen, you're doing a great job! You seem to be such a normal, down-to-earth wife and mother. Only you and your DH know what's best for your family and if what you're doing works, keep doing it!

  5. LittleGopher Says:
    1144288482

    What you've said states our situation perfectly. Not a lot of frills, but we surely enjoy what we do have.

    I was at home for 11 years with my girls, and only took a job 4 years ago that allowed my youngest to come with me during her last year before she started kindergarten (she was the only one left at home.) I now work five mornings a week in our school district's preschool, and have the same days off as the girls, as well as flexibility in time off for the kids or my mom. I am off for my girls' sick days, can volunteer in their classes and attend events that happen during the school day... well you get the picture.

    I still answer that I'm a mom before anything else (I spend more hours on that job than at my paying job, which I do enjoy.) We have four girls and my mom to care for - my husband and I choose to get by on less so that we can continue to give care at a level of our choosing. I feel very lucky and blessed that we are able to do this. I look back (and ahead!) and think how did we do it?! Just when you think the money situation can't be any worse, a car breaks down, something medical happens, a key appliance like the washer can't be repaired one more time, and on and on. Would I change a thing? Nope - not one thing! (Though all money given to us would have been cheerfully accepted!!)

    So rant away...and know that many here either know whereof you speak or empathize/sympathize heartily. Good for you for doing things the way you see fit! I always figure that the hard times serve to strengthen us. Boy, how strong we will be! Best wishes to you!!

  6. kashi Says:
    1144340898

    I think you're doing great, Jen. You're taking what you have and doing the best you can. No one can ask more of you than that (and you shouldn't either!).

    The boutique looks great. Keep on keepin' on. And don't take a job for less than you're worth - you'll find something better!

  7. lrjohnson Says:
    1144471270

    You spend your money on what is important to you. To me that is the essence of frugality. One thing I have enjoyed about SavingAdvice is that though we have different priorities, there's a general understanding there there are no "rules" for being frugal. I'm bummed that there was a blog or forum post that offended you, and I hope your own conscience as well as the other comments reminded you that your choices are absolutely valid. And from what you described, it DOES sound like you have a very nice life. I'd go for the organic veggies and happy child versus a boat and frequent manicures. I hope your tomorrow is much better.

  8. DivaJen Says:
    1144471452

    "I'd go for the organic veggies and happy child versus a boat and frequent manicures."

    Yes - you put that so nicely. Smile Thank you. Family, education, health, security - these things are important to me, and to DH. It would be nice to have some extras too, but we are at least trying to live a life that serves our values and priorities.

    (I don't even want a boat - just threw it in there as I was thinking of the whole keeping up with the Jones' thing.)

  9. flash Says:
    1144521247

    Jen, you put it well. Being frugal is about not wasting money, and using what you have for what you want. My DB and DS both teach in CA, and both have home schooled or private schooled. DH's family strictly private school. And having lived in San Diego, I can tell you, well, it's hard to understand expenses until you lived there. Not sure if they still have the "snack tax", but it's a different "money experience", shall we say?

    We drive old cars, buy dependable and practical, and splurge on things that are important. Home gym, we both have health issues and needed it. But went cheap cheap cheap to get good stuff.

    For what it's worth, you are someone I truly admire, and am always impressed. You're well educated, a mom, a wife, running several businesses, starting up businesses and taking GREAT care of your family and your finances. You are amazing! I wish I had some great words of encouragement for you, something to send a bit of love and light your way. Can't think of a thing. I can send coupons! Lots of thanks for all of your support and posts and inspiration.

  10. DivaJen Says:
    1144598630

    Thank you flash - that really means a lot to me. Smile Really.

  11. PRICEPLUS Says:
    1144706440

    Jen, hang in there! You appear to have your priorities straight. I know first hand the frustrations of it all. I keep the cars until they are wrecks. I aim for at least twelve years minimum. Good luck and hang tough!

  12. markio26 Says:
    1144732462

    sounds like you have made some wise choices and taken control of your life... alot of ppl. admire your honesty too.
    just remember, your life is what you make it...best wishes.

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